I’ve been asking for things. Little things, mostly. I’ve asked a co-worker to pass me a pen I couldn’t reach, instead of getting up to get it. I’ve asked a friend to let me know if I had any food in my teeth, since I didn’t have a mirror to see for myself. And sure, these small requests didn’t lead to any major life changes, but they made things a little easier for me.
So I’m taking this moment to give myself credit for asking, even just asking for the little things. Every request begins with me connecting with my feelings, determining what I want, and being direct and clear about what I know is best for me. And as someone who’s survived domestic violence, it’s kind of a big deal for me to feel that I deserve to get what I want, and to feel empowered enough to ask for it. Wait, erase that “kind of” – it’s really a big deal for me to communicate about what I want. Claiming my power to make requests can lead to significant changes for me, as I ask for what I need to create the kind of life I deserve to live. But it’s not always about putting on the pressure to totally transform my life. Cultivating this skill can begin with those everyday, seemingly simple requests that help me grow, one small spurt at a time.
At CUAV, we’re finishing the year with a three-month series on making requests. We’re using the queen bee as a metaphor, based on our belief that all of us are queen bees with the ability to take charge of our own lives. It can be daunting to think about making requests, but it feels a little easier to realize that I actually ask for things all the time. My requests may be small, but I know they’re never meaningless.