Last year, I wrote about how I know where my boundaries are. I look back now and wonder how I managed to feel so sure that my body would always tell me what I need. What if my body forgets? What if, after experiencing trauma, my body speaks up a little too loudly, saying, “Back off!” when I mean to say, “Come closer”?
It happens. So now I’m in conversation with the person who knows my boundaries best: myself. When my mind and body feel out of sync, it doesn’t mean I’m wrong. It’s just that I’m a little disconnected, which makes sense, considering that I live in a world full of messages telling me I don’t know what’s best for myself. Everywhere I go, some advertisement or entertainment show or “expert” tells me that I don’t have what I need, that I have to constantly reach outside of myself in order to be good enough. It’s hard to avoid such messages, but over the years, I’ve learned that they’re just not true. The answers I need are right here inside me.
So, with my body, mind, and spirit in conversation with one another, I’m fighting my own battle against those forces trying to impose self-doubt on me. This is bigger than me, I know. This is about people and communities of all genders, races, and sexualities, who are exploited as we’re told that we have no right to set our own boundaries. But I don’t have to try to be a savior for all others in order to fight this fight. I’m starting with my own boundaries, with trusting that their wisdom is already within me.