I learned a lot about myself around this time last year. As we began focusing on boundaries at CUAV, I learned about how my boundaries are like a snail’s shell – protective, natural, and always available. And also like a snail, boundaries are considered by some to be undesirable things.
As for me, I learned that I love boundaries. And also that I’m a lot better at setting boundaries than I thought I was. Sure, maybe that’s partly because I’ve had more practice and grown in my confidence to set limits for myself. But in a way, I feel like all that’s changed is my ability to recognize and celebrate my boundary-setting skills. As I focus on my healing, I find more clarity each day about what I need to feel safe. I used to feel ashamed of my trauma, ashamed of moving through the world like a damaged person who has to put up special limits in order to take care of my needs.
But who doesn’t have boundaries? The truth is, all of us set boundaries all the time, with everything from deciding what time to go to bed to choosing who we want to share our lives with, and to what degree. It’s true that my boundaries make me special – in fact, they make me powerful, as one of the ways that I can acknowledge my needs and declare that I deserve to have my needs respected. I’m glad it’s this time of year again. A time for celebrating my boundaries, and all of the wonderful ways they take care of me.