I’m imagining how it would feel to move like a spider. Patient and steady. Spinning my web around me, based on what I want and what I need to feel peace and joy.
May has been all about listening to our wants and needs here at CUAV. Each week, our participants have gathered with us to generously share what this practice means to us as queer and trans survivors of violence. And I’ve been realizing how much this community healing feeds a need of mine. I’m taking a risk by expressing my wants and needs. In the past, it’s been hard for me to know what I truly want. At times, it was harder to feel that I deserve to get what I want, and even harder to trust that I won’t be disappointed if I try to get my wants and needs met.
Now, I have a better idea of what I want and need, based on what’s best for me. And I have a group of people at CUAV who are also bravely taking risks, talking about what they really want and need. It’s comforting to know that we’re all growing together as we practice putting ourselves first. Putting myself first is certainly new to me. But even if I get a little tangled in my web as I learn to move like a spider, I know my community won’t let me fall. I already feel honored, just for tuning into what I want and need. And that’s a great start.